Bad Day =/= Bad Life

Bad Day =/= Bad Life

Where do I even begin… today was a bad day.

When I woke up in the morning, I didn’t feel so good. I only had about 5+ hours of sleep, and probably much less because I kept having multiple nightmares which disrupted my sleep. (I blame it on watching too many disturbing things – adventure time lemon grab episode, gory rick & morty episode, gory kingsman movie) I felt lightheaded and slightly dizzy.

At the same time, I fell down a lot yesterday at ice skating because I wasn’t used to the ice and skates, and the fall impacted the same spots on my right knee and hip three times. D’: they’re reaaaaally badly bruised now, so I’m not sure how I’m going to go for muay thai lesson this Friday.

So when I woke up this morning, I already felt beaten physically and mentally. I already found it harder than usual to smile. This was but the beginning.

Later in the day, I cried a lot at work. In front of some colleagues. I couldn’t control my tears. It was soo embarrassing and awkward.

I messed up several huge things, and had to bother the nurses at the clinic and also suffer their silent angry faces while I was incessantly apologizing. I guess when you see others cry you’d think someone scolded them really badly.

But no one scolded me. No one said anything close to negative to me. But the thoughts coming from my head kept chastising myself, and I just felt really angry, sad and disappointed in myself for all these multiple failures in a day.

All that crying also somehow removed the concealer underneath my eyes (apparently tears make great makeup removers), so my dark eye circles were really blatant and everyone in the office who saw me would comment on how I looked like a zombie and ask if I was okay, which made it even more awkward.

Well…the nightmare is over. The trauma and awkwardness with colleagues might remain, but the lesson is learnt.

  1. Don’t go to work when feeling unwell, it’s better to rest than push yourself too hard and screw up something
  2. I need to control my tears and probably hide somewhere to ensure I really got past the tears before possible interaction with other humans
  3. I need more sleep. I also need to watch less weird shows.

This episode also made me really appreciate the tiny group of social support I have at work. I’m really thankful for them for trying to cheer me up and distract me while not broaching too much. As someone who has once cried her eyes out about being alone and having no friends, this is a huge change and I am grateful for these people. :’)

I may have coincidentally run into a series of unfortunate events today, thus making it a bad day, but that doesn’t mean I have a bad life. I shall go to sleep, accept the lesson, and move on.


2 Replies to “Bad Day =/= Bad Life”

  1. Good lessons! I can’t count the number of times I went to work not feeling well because I didn’t have a fever, I wasn’t throwing up and I had an over-developed sense of responsibility. When I retired in January, I had hundreds of hours of sick time that I did not get reimbursed for like the vacation time. Looking back, I wish I’d taken off some of those days when I didn’t feel well. It’s great that you’re learning this now. Take care!

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